Roleplaying

Roleplay dressing for sex has a lot to do with fantasy & both of the lovers ability to perform as "someone else" for your lover. This practice allows both of you to step out of your normal sexual role for an evening & pretend. If you've forgotten how to pretend I suggest you watch your kids play or go to the park & watch the local kids pretend. Pretending is something that a lot of adults forget about. It provides a "safe" special place that no one else can screw up.

Now I'm sure a lot of psychiatrists would disagree that this practice has a functional value for most adults & might even call it delusional, but I honestly feel our society has forced us to create these "special places" as an escape from all that bothers us. Roleplay is the sexual version of this behavior & can satisfy many underlying desires, as well as providing a sexual diversion from the "norm". Besides that, I personally think everyone could use an escape from the pressures of the world today.

Discussing Your Fantasy Roleplay

As with any new activity you should talk to your lover about what you would like to try. We suggest that if you haven't read it yet, now is the time to check out our Fantasy Talk Section. There are some good pointers for discussing these exact type of scenarios with your lover. With roleplay you almost need to script out the evenings events. This may seem like a pain but most of the time just dressing in a certain way will not fulfill the desires involved with roleplay.

Usually roleplay will involve finding costuming for each of you. Some of these ideas may be able to be implemented with items around the house or searching out just the right outfit might be required. A good source for these outside costumes can be found at your local costume rental shop. You don't need to tell them what your going to do with them but make sure you give them a good cleaning before you return them.

Another important part of roleplay for most is sticking to the part you are to play throughout the evening. This again requires some pre-thought on both of your parts, a lot of imagination & a few minor acting skills. Don't be afraid to try it out just because you're a little shy about acting or pretending. A great evening of sex can be right around the corner if you are just willing to play along!

A Couple of Ideas to Get You Started

One of the most common roleplay ideas is also the easiest to fulfill. It involves the two of you dressing to kill & then meeting at a bar. The evening begins with the two of you separated & just hanging out & then "discovering" each other, as if for the first time. The evenings events should include all of the flirting & nervousness, as well as the small talk most couples go through when they first meet. This one does take some imagination to follow through but can give you a great night as well as some fun. Take the evening as far as you wish, maybe even allowing each other to do some flirting or hanging out with others at the club. When the night has progressed to a point where you have both relaxed & had some fun try to seduce your "new found" lover & talk them into a motel. It really can be a lot of fun!

Our second example for this month is a little darker than the first & must be considered by both lovers with great detail. It involves the so-called "rape fantasy". As we mentioned in our Fantasy Talk section this is a common & very misunderstood fantasy. No person would ever want to go through the horror of an actual rape. Many people do though have fantasies about being quasi-raped (more like ravished) in a controlled manor by someone they in actuality trust. This fantasy can be achieved through roleplay. The person wishing to have this done to them should find clothing & underwear that they no longer want. How you set up the actual "attack" is your decision. As the attacker begins, they will basically grab you & rip & tear your clothing off, ravishing you at their will & desire. There should be absolutely no violence involved with this idea & must only be attempted by couples with a complete respect & trust for each other. Please discuss this one very carefully & set up rules that both of you understand & can follow. My wife & I have tried this one several times & it does have some thrilling fire to it but it may not be for everyone.

Our last example this month involves uniforms. Many people have some real loves for certain uniforms. Many women are very attracted to military, as well as police uniforms. On the other hand quite a few men have a big thing for nurses uniforms. These uniforms can be used in a multitude of different ideas. If this appeals to you try to set up something that allows you & your lover to meet, as with our first example wearing these uniforms. For those of you not brave enough to go out in public like this, an evening at a motel or even home will suffice. Make sure that you attempt to act the part as well as look the part. The more real the situation becomes for your lover, the more satisfying the sex will become.

Form: http://www.have-better-sex.com/dressing-for-sex/roleplaying.html

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How to drive women crazy?

Want to drive women crazy in bed? The answer is all in the preamble – better known as foreplay – and how you handle her far too often ignored secret sex spots, known as erogenous zones. So what are erogenous zones? Here’s what the Merriam-Webster online dictionary has to say about them:

1. Producing sexual excitement or libidinal gratification when stimulated : sexually sensitive

2. Of, relating to, or arousing sexual feelings

Ah, you say, erogenous zones, sure, like her mouth, her breasts, and all that wonderful action she’s got going on between her legs. Well, yes and no. It’s not that those aren’t erogenous zones, but on women there are a whole slew of other locations on her body that also cause these reactions. And what’s better, these places are easy to find, easy to get to, and easy to enjoy – but far too many men ignore them at their peril and try to jump into the main action far too quickly, before a woman is good and ready.

Let’s be really clear about this guys, in fact, I can’t say it enough – in order for a woman to really enjoy sex she’s really got to be ready for it, and by paying attention to her “outer” erogenous zones, she’ll be boiling hot by the time you make your way to her “inner” erogenous zones. So let’s take a tour through what these outer regions entail and review how they can help you to really rev her fire:

Her Neck

Some think only the nape of a woman’s neck is an erogenous zone (that spot at the back of her neck, dead center, at the base of her hairline) but for most women her entire neck is incredibly sensitive to stimulation. Run your fingers gently along it when kissing her (as well as along the base of her jaw line), blow on it lightly, break away from kissing her mouth and spend ample time planting kisses up and down her neck and I guarantee you’ll send shivers up her spine that’ll thrill her.

Her Ears

Ears are also very sensitive to touch, but you have to be careful because what one woman finds sexy in “ear-play” another might find distasteful. Some women love their ears kissed and even licked and others hate it (they find the noise disturbing). Play it safe in the beginning and kiss her lobes, even lightly tug on them with your teeth (remember I said lightly) and kiss the base of her ears. Whisper sweet and wicked nothings here (remember women get turned on via their ears) and you’ll really have her attention.

Her Feet

Want to get through a woman’s defenses and make her melt like butter? Give her a foot massage that’ll have her melting into your arms. But here again you have to move forward with caution. Everyone likes different pressure in their massage touch, so start gently and gradually make your grip and kneading stronger – asking for feedback as you go. Also note that many women are very ticklish, and very sensitive about having their arches touched. But with that being said, do a good job, and take direction and soon you’ll find her lovely thighs wrapped around you.

Her Hands

There’s a reason why, in courtly days of old, men kissed women’s hands – it wasn’t all about being polite and showing respect. The hands are very sensitive, and though they’re not quite as sensitive as the lips, the action got a man’s point across just fine. Play with her hands. Stroke them, massage them, kiss and tickle her palms, and soon she’ll be using her hands to bring you all sorts of pleasure as well.

The Undersides of Her Arms

As just a rule of thumb, the undersides of everything on women are more sensitive (yep, buttocks, breasts, etc.) to the touch. From her wrists, to the inside of her biceps, the underneath of a woman’s arms are incredibly sensitive to the lightest touch. Let your fingers do the walking up and don’t this area with light caresses and kisses and make her beg for more.

The Backs of Her Knees and Her Inner Thighs

Once you’ve made her feet happy, work your way up the back of her legs, tickle and kiss the sensitive backs of her knees and soon she’ll let her spend some serious time on her thighs. Her thighs are the gateway to heaven; so treat them right if you want to go inside! Remember that fools rush in. By the time you’re caressing her thighs she’s starting to get seriously turned on, but again you can get into trouble if you go too fast and make her think all you’re after is getting to your own thrills. A woman’s inner thighs are so sensitive she can enjoy your touch through her clothes, so make sure you do a lot of teasing and caressing in this area before you slip those jeans off, or that skirt up. And remember the under sides of her buttocks are incredibly sensitive too, spending time here, stroking and teasing her will really get her juices up.

Moving Towards the Inner Sanctum

So now that you’ve had a tour of the “outer” erogenous zones, you’re ready to start focusing on the “inner” ones – though of course you’ve been paying a lot of attention to her mouth this whole time. But be smart about it even now. Move back up to her breasts (paying attention to the sensitive undersides of them) and her nipples, with kisses and caresses before you dive in and see how things are going under her hood. Taking the long slow erogenous road might take more time, and might even make her groan with frustration – but that’s a good thing. Because then she’ll be all the more ready when you finally arrive.

from:

http://practicalsexadvice.wordpress.com/2008/02/01/how-to-drive-women-crazy/

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Anal play

What is anal play?

This can be any kind of sexual stimulation of the anus or rectum. It includes penetration of the anus with a penis, or a finger or sex toy, rimming (stimulating the anus with the tongue), and fisting (putting fingers or a hand into the rectum).

The statistics

• One in three gay couples do not have regular anal sex.
• Up to a third of straight couples have tried anal sex at least once.

The Law

Penetrative anal sex is legal in the UK between consenting adults (gay or straight) who are over the age of consent, i.e. at least 16 years of age (17 in Northern Ireland).

What's the attraction?

The anus is a very sensitive area, and has many nerve endings, so many people get great pleasure from this kind of stimulation. Some people find trying new things or breaking social taboos to be a turn-on, or like the idea of 'being naughty'. A few individuals are just pushing their luck, and are on a bit of a power trip, so perhaps they do not have their partner's best interests at heart. A large number of people just don't find the idea very appealing for a number of reasons, and this personal preference is just as valid.

Your partner

By all means ask your partner if it's something you'd like to try doing together, but remember that you must respect their decision 100% if they say no. Pressurising or threatening a partner to do something that they find unpleasant or degrading is completely unacceptable, and not part of a loving relationship.

Safety

The tissues of the anus and rectum don't have enough lubrication and are very delicate, so they can tear very easily. Because if this, roughness can cause great pain, and there is an increased risk of transmitting sexually transmitted infections. Use plenty of water based lubricant, and take things slowly.

For anal penetration use extra strong condoms, which will reduce your risk of HIV and other infections, and protect the foreskin. Let the person who is being penetrated control the speed of movement and the depth of penetration, at least to begin with. Damaging the anal sphincter (the ring of muscle that closes the anus) can sometimes cause faecal incontinence, so it is important to avoid forcing anything into the rectum, and should only be done with a trusted partner.

Unless you want an embarrassing trip to casualty, never use sex toys for anal play (i.e. butt plugs, dildos or vibrators, or 'improvised' toys) unless they are smooth, unlikely to break, free from sharp edges, and flared at the base. This is because they can damage the rectum and cause a painful spasm, or can slip right inside and be impossible to remove without medical attention.

Rimming (AKA anolingus or anolinctus) has the additional risk of transferring bowel bacteria such as E. coli to the mouth. The receiver should wash the area thoroughly, and the giver should use a dental dam (a sheet of latex available from sex shops) or a condom (cut open from end to tip and placed over the anus) to reduce this risk.

Taken from: http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/havingsex/styles/analplay

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