Ancient Chinese sex advice

One scholar who has had a lot of influence on my teaching on Early China is Mark Edward Lewis. I sometimes assign Sanctioned Violence in Early China, and if I had the courage I would assign Writing and Authority. The thing I like about his work is that not only does he know literally everything about everything, his work centers around figuring out what the categories of early Chinese thought were. It is a commonplace that the Han dynasty distinctions between the 100 schools of philosophy are to some extent false divisions forced on a much more complex history. Lewis takes this further and tries to uncover what the categories of thought were in Han and pre-Han China. Part of this, particularly in Writing and Authority, is the importance of patterns. There are patterns that govern the changes in the universe, human affairs and the body, and understanding and adjusting and adjusting to these patterns is what knowledge is all about. (Lewis explains all this a lot better than I do.)

One aspect of this is the sage, the person who has learned to be a master of patterns. There are lots of different aspects of this, one of which is medicine. One’s body is of course governed by the same patterns as everything else and thus being a doctor, preserving one’s health and attaining immortality through alchemy and ruling the empire all involve the same sort of knowledge. Those with a proper knowledge of patterns can avoid all sorts of nasty things and can also draw power from the universe. A good example of this is sex, as explained in the 素女經 (Sunu jing) The Classic of the White Girl.1

Huangdi asks Sunu “I am feeling a lack of energy and a disharmony in my body. I am sad and apprehensive. What shall I do about this?”

Sunu replies: “Men are likely to make a mistake during lovemaking. Women conquer men as water conquers fire. Those who know the art of lovemaking are like those who know how to mix the five flavors in a cooking pot to produce a good meal, and like those who know the way of yin and yang and enjoy the five pleasures. Those who are ignorant of this are die young, without enjoying the pleasures of life…. A man must know how to control his emissions and also take medicine. He cannot enjoy life if he is ignorant of the art of love. Men and women are like Heaven and Earth, whose eternal nature lies in their unity…Those who understand the principle of yin and yang will experience immortality.”

A nice equation of different forms of knowledge of patterns. Sex, medicine, and cooking. If you ever wondered why so many famous Chinese writers and statesmen were good cooks, this is why.
Huangdi asks: “What will happen if one abstains from sex?”

Sunu replies: “That is absolutely out of the question. Yin and yang have their alternations as does everything in nature. Human beings should follow the rhythms of yin and yang just as they follow the rhythms of the seasons…”

Again the patterns of the universe and the body are the same. Also, one can’t really absent oneself from the world.

Huangdi asks: “What are the essential elements that bring about a harmonious union of yin and yang?”
Sunu replies: “For a man, the essential element is to avoid weakening his strength: for a woman what is important is orgasm. Those who do not follow this method will decline into weakness. The function of female sexual sensibility is to keep the balance of one’s energies, to calm one’s heart, to strengthen one’s will, and finally to clarify one’s mind”

“The person concerned should experience a deep sense of well-being, without feeling heat and cold, hunger and satiety, thus the body enjoys is pleasure in peace. The aim of this method is orgasm for the woman, and preservation of energies for the man.”

‘preservation of energies’ means not giving up your yang essense. The woman does have an orgasm, and thus does give up yin essence. It’s really a creepy sort of sexual vampirism. The educated man can get energy out of the universe. In this case it is out of another person, which makes it exploitative.
Huangdi asks: “Lately even when I have a strong desire for sex, my ‘jade stalk’ does not rise. I am so embarrassed that my face is covered with shame and beads of sweat. Yet my desire is so strong, I have no choice but to seek the assistance of my hand. How should I do it?”

Sunu replies: “Your question is a common one. When a man wishes to have a sexual relationship, he must observe traditional preliminaries. First the breathing needs to be harmonized, and then the ‘jade stalk’ is aroused according to the principle of ‘five consistencies’, while sensations flow through the nine parts. As for a woman, the five colors are to be noted. Upon the change of color, the man collects saliva from the woman’s mouth, which it turn in transformed and fills marrow of his bones as well the internal organs of is body. The man must obey the ‘seven deficiencies’ follow the ‘eight benefits’ and observe the ‘five constancies.’ In doing so, the disorder will be cured as energy strengthens the body. When his internal organs are harmonized his face will shine. Should desire come, the ‘jade stalk’ that has been strengthened becomes erect. Where then is the shame? ”

Huangdi asks “How can one tell if a woman is experiencing orgasm?”

There is a long section on how to tell if a woman is having an orgasm, but frankly the modern method (asking her) is a lot easier. But being able to read the signs properly is how you can tell how the exchange of energy between you and the universe is going. It’s a nice little reading that I think I will use in my Early China class next fall.

1 Translation from Robin R. Wang Images of Women in Chinese Thought and Culture Hackett, 2003

Source: http://www.froginawell.net/china/2006/10/ancient-chinese-sex-advice/

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Sex outside the bedroom: Outside fun

So you feel as if your life is setting into a pattern. The relationship is good and sex is great, but still the spark that brought you two together is fading and you’re afraid that boredom will soon rear its ugly head.

This is usually the point where the future of a relationship is decided: will you do something to make it a lot of fun like it used to be or will you let it slide into a break-up. It takes a bit of effort to keep a relationship afloat, but then again nothing good is gained without a struggle.

By now you must have realised that even when using the most amazing moves and positions in the bedroom, there is a limit to the fun you can have there. After all, you can change positions only for so long before they don’t give you any more pleasure.

Therefore it’s high time that you tried something new, something that can make you feel once more like things are just starting. And what better solution to your problem than a bit of outdoor sex? Before you start thinking about embarrassing situations and fines for public lewdness let’s talk facts.

Outdoor sex is exciting precisely because of the risk involved. I’m not telling you to start acting foolishly, but to seize the moment and have sex out of doors, in secluded places where you are not likely to be disturbed.

Having sex at home is nice: she gets out of the shower, the sheets are clean and everything is great. Having sex behind the bike shed is going to be hard, fast and deeply satisfying. Doing something forbidden is always exciting and doing it together strengthens the bond between you two. You just have to be a little careful about it.

Moreover, sex outside the bedroom doesn’t have to mean a clump of trees on the side of the road. You could go to a motel and have sex like strangers. But the hard and fast sex done outside when you feel you can’t keep your hands off each other is the best because this is the first thing that goes away several years into an established relationship.

And, of course, it’s the first thing you should try to get back into your life. If having sex outside, you’re going to need the best positions available, Lovecentria has 75 fully animated sex positions, so when you’re enjoying the great outdoors, she’s enjoying you!

Source: http://www.sexguidecentral.com/sex_outdoors.html

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What is a condom?

What is a condom?

Condoms are a thin rubber tube which fits over the man's erect penis before intercourse. When the man ejaculates, he does so into the condom which prevents the sperm from entering the vagina. Most condoms are made of latex and are considered an effective means of protection from pregnancy and the spread of STDs. There are other condoms available which are made of animal intestine but these are less effective for disease prevention.

How effective are condoms?

When condoms are used properly, they are about 95% effective in the prevention of pregnancy. When condoms are used with spermicidal foam, their effectiveness rate is nearly 100%. Some condoms are packaged with spermicidal lubricant already applied to them and for those that don't contain spermicidal lubricant, or if extra lubrication is required, we recommend Wet lubricant with Nonoxynol-9. Furthermore, condoms provide excellent protection from the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, although the exact rates of success are unknown. The latex condom is the recommended form of STD and pregnancy prevention.

How are condoms used?

When using a condom, you check for holes and review the expiry date. [Note: never carry a condom in a hot, confined place such as your wallet. Always ensure they are kept out of direct sunlight.] Squeeze the tip to release the air and then roll the condom down to the base of the penis. Some rolled latex will remain at the base of the penis to make it easier to pull the condom off after ejaculation. Be sure that your fingernails or jewelry do not damage or rip the condom. After orgasm, the man should hold the base of the condom during withdrawal from the vagina or anus. After the condom is away from the genitals of the partner, the condom can be safely removed.

Remember:

• Never use a condom more than once.
• Always use a latex condom for effective prevention of STDs.
• Lubricated condoms offer more protection from breakage and spillage of semen.
• Always use water-based lubricants. (We recommend Astroglide)
• You can double up condoms during vigorous sex. Use an unlubricated condom on the bottom, and a lubricated one on the top.
• Unlubricated condoms are best for oral sex.
  

Practical concerns when using condoms

One of the problems with a condom is that you must interrupt foreplay momentarily to put it on. Some people get wrapped up in the moment and forget to practice safer sex. Making the condom a part of your sexual ritual will go a long way to ensuring proper use. An additional incentive to use condoms are the many varieties and brands to choose from. Condoms come in different sizes and some have special ridges to increase enjoyment for both partners. Experiment with different brands until you find the one that is best for you. For those who find that condoms reduce sensitivity during intercourse, we recommend trying Crown Condoms from Okamoto, the makers of Beyond Seven. This is the thinnest condom on the market and much less noticeable than other condoms. For more on enjoying condoms in safer sex see our Making It Fun section. Another concern is that latex condoms are weakened by oil based lubricants such as Vaseline, edible oils and medications. If you wish to use lubricants during sex play make sure that they are water based.

Source: http://www.sexhealth.org/birthcontrol/condom.shtml.

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What is a condom

What is a condom?
Condoms are a thin rubber tube which fits over the man's erect penis before intercourse. When the man ejaculates, he does so into the condom which prevents the sperm from entering the vagina. Most condoms are made of latex and are considered an effective means of protection from pregnancy and the spread of STDs. There are other condoms available which are made of animal intestine but these are less effective for disease prevention.
How effective are condoms?
When condoms are used properly, they are about 95% effective in the prevention of pregnancy. When condoms are used with spermicidal foam, their effectiveness rate is nearly 100%. Some condoms are packaged with spermicidal lubricant already applied to them and for those that don't contain spermicidal lubricant, or if extra lubrication is required, we recommend Wet lubricant with Nonoxynol-9. Furthermore, condoms provide excellent protection from the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, although the exact rates of success are unknown. The latex condom is the recommended form of STD and pregnancy prevention.
How are condoms used?
When using a condom, you check for holes and review the expiry date. [Note: never carry a condom in a hot, confined place such as your wallet. Always ensure they are kept out of direct sunlight.] Squeeze the tip to release the air and then roll the condom down to the base of the penis. Some rolled latex will remain at the base of the penis to make it easier to pull the condom off after ejaculation. Be sure that your fingernails or jewelry do not damage or rip the condom. After orgasm, the man should hold the base of the condom during withdrawal from the vagina or anus. After the condom is away from the genitals of the partner, the condom can be safely removed.
Remember:
Never use a condom more than once.
Always use a latex condom for effective prevention of STDs.
Lubricated condoms offer more protection from breakage and spillage of semen.
Always use water-based lubricants. (We recommend Astroglide)
You can double up condoms during vigorous sex. Use an unlubricated condom on the bottom, and a lubricated one on the top.
Unlubricated condoms are best for oral sex.
Practical concerns when using condoms
One of the problems with a condom is that you must interrupt foreplay momentarily to put it on. Some people get wrapped up in the moment and forget to practice safer sex. Making the condom a part of your sexual ritual will go a long way to ensuring proper use. An additional incentive to use condoms are the many varieties and brands to choose from. Condoms come in different sizes and some have special ridges to increase enjoyment for both partners. Experiment with different brands until you find the one that is best for you. For those who find that condoms reduce sensitivity during intercourse, we recommend trying Crown Condoms from Okamoto, the makers of Beyond Seven. This is the thinnest condom on the market and much less noticeable than other condoms. For more on enjoying condoms in safer sex see our Making It Fun section. Another concern is that latex condoms are weakened by oil based lubricants such as Vaseline, edible oils and medications. If you wish to use lubricants during sex play make sure that they are water based.

source: http://www.sexhealth.org/birthcontrol/condom.shtml

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Problems of Penis

1 The retractile penis and other issues of size

Q 1: I have a really small penis which goes all the way into my body when I'm not erect. That is uncomfortable and embarrassing in the locker/changing rooms. In addition, it's only about 4.5 inches long when it's erect. I have found that when having sex, it's difficult to keep my penis inside my partner, especially when she gets on top - it keeps coming out and this gets really frustrating for us both. I am also wondering if I can reach her G spot. And what positions are best for sex for a man like me?

A: Between 1 and 3 % of men have a retractile penis: in other words, one which retracts into the abdominal cavity under nearly all conditions, except possibly when very warm and relaxed. These men may appear to have almost no penis when they are not erect, with just the glans showing, or even just a hole in the abdominal wall where the penile shaft will emerge when it becomes erect. It's worse where there are large quantities of fat around the abdomen, which obscure the base of the shaft, and when a man is naturally anxious, which causes the cremaster muscle to pull the penile shaft back in towards the body.

Not all these men will be small on erection, and some have a normal-looking penis, though my research suggests it is more common for such men to feature on the small side of the size distribution in all conditions. The retractile penis may feel bunched up and uncomfortable, and may need to be manually lengthened with the fingers before urination.

There is no "cure", except possibly surgery, which is never really to be recommended on the genitals unless absolutely necessary. If surgery was the treatment of choice, it would entail release of the suspensory (fundiform) ligament to allow the penis to drop down and appear longer, and possible release of the restricting bands of Scarpa's Fascia. Some surgeons offer penile widening with alloderm grafts, but this is an unproven technique and must be considered experimental. (Below the skin the superficial fascia is divided into a superficial fatty layer, Camper's fascia, and a deeper fibrous layer, Scarpa's fascia. The deep fascia lies on the muscles of the abdomen. This deep fascia is composed of connective tissue with large numbers of elastic fibres, the whole structure being next to the linea alba and the symphysis pubis, but also continuing down onto the top inner surface of the penis as the fundiform ligament, the one cut during surgery to lengthen the penis.)

If you are in this position, it's important to remember that the size and shape of your genitals is really no obstacle to finding a sexual partner. It's a superficial view of masculinity to judge it by the size of your sexual organs, just as it would be a superficial judgement about a woman to base her attractiveness or her femininity on her breast size. Try to move out of the place where you have this logic in your head, and remember that the qualities for which women are looking in a partner have nothing to do with your penis. Lots of men who know (or think) they are less well-endowed don't have much confidence about getting a partner. The truth, of course, is that penile size really doesn't matter for most women, a fact most men find hard to believe.

When you are making love, keep your penis in her body by using short thrusts and a position where your bodies are closely aligned, such as missionary and rear entry (with you hugging her close).

Get more info on penis problem:

http://www.penis-website.com/penis-problems.html

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Masturbation Techniques

Many boys discover masturbation by accident, when they are rubbing their penis and feel something so good that they have just continue until they have an orgasm. But there are many methods for making it more pleasurable.

There will be times when you have a strong desire to masturbate but it's not convenient to do so. In this case you can ejaculate as quickly as possible, perhaps in the bathroom. This is fine - but you should know that masturbation, just like sex between two people, is much more pleasurable when you can relax and take your time.

Some guys masturbate lying face down and rubbing their penis against the bed. One very common technique is to lie on your back and rub or massage your penis with your hand. In this position, when you ejaculate the semen will end up on your chest or stomach, which is easier to clean up. (You will probably want to get up and take off your night-clothes or T shirt, so that the semen won't wet them, and keep a tissue handy to clean yourself afterwards.)

Every successful masturbation session starts with an erection, which happens when your penis fills with blood until it is hard and you can play with it with your hand. Getting an erection is usually easy, either through thinking erotic thoughts or by manual stimulation. If you are young, or have not ejaculated for some time, you probably don't have to do much to get an erection!

Once your penis has reached its maximum length and hardness, hold it and rub it along the entire length, keeping a constant rhythm. This simulates the feeling of moving your penis to and fro inside a woman's vagina, which is what happens during sexual intercourse.

There are many ways of stimulating the penis which you can try. These are just starting points: it's important to practice your own variations, so that you find the techniques which give you most pleasure.

Basic method

For this common technique, simply wrap your fingers around your penis and move them up and down. This allows maximum contact between your hand and your penis - and more contact means more pleasure. This is a very good method if you have a long penis. If your penis isn't longer than your fist you won't be able to make long movements, and another method might be better.

Five fingers

For this technique, your hand and arm are at an angle to your penis, with 4 fingers diagonally on top of the penis and your thumb underneath. This allows you to control the amount of contact between your hand and penis, and allows you to move your hand the whole length of the penis, even if it isn't very big.

Three fingers

This method is good if you have a small penis. Support the penis as if you were holding a pencil. This technique allows you maximum control and distance of movement (from the base of the penis to the head), but contact between the hand and the penis is less than with other hand positions.

The back-hander

This technique (much like the basic method but with the hand facing the other way) looks a bit odd but it feels very good. It is a little complicated at first, but it's an excellent position when you want to try something different for a few minutes.

source: http://www.the-penis.com/masturbation.html

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How Do Women and Girls Masturbate?

Women and girls masturbate in an endless list of ways. They may massage their clitoris with hands and fingers or rub their vulva up against pillows, bed cloths, stuffed animals, and furniture. Some use water spray, vibrators, and dildos to stimulate their vulva or vagina. The vagina appears to play a limited role in the masturbation practices of women, but vaginal insertion is by no means rare or unusual. When vaginal stimulation is used it is often used in conjunction with clitoral stimulation. Some women employ nipple and/or anal stimulation in addition to clitoral and vaginal stimulation. Fantasy often plays a major role in a woman's masturbation activities. The brain is the largest and most important sexual organ and as a result physical stimulation alone is frequently not sufficient to trigger orgasm.

Here some shares of masturbation techniques and experiences women do

Diane

I love to masturbate. One of my favorite techniques is a little different. First I start by tweaking and pinching my large nipples. The touch of my nipples erupts a sensation in my genital area and starts my juices flowing. I love large nipples. I then lay on the bed on my back in a reclined position. Legs are spread very wide and I massage with my second, third and fourth fingers making sure to get my clitoris nice and lubricated with my vaginal juices. While massaging my clitoris in a circular motion and moving my hips to meet each stroke, I am simultaneously sucking and biting my nipples and fantasizing. As my nipples get larger and harder, my clitoris gets larger and longer with increased sensitivity. As I feel the wave of the orgasm building harder I hold my breath and I have an intense ejaculating orgasm.

Jodi

First I read a very erotic book or magazine while in the bathtub, then I let the water flow at a very slow rate and lie on my back (the water level is fairly low) and place my genital area under the water flow. I use one hand, usually the left, to "open" the area then lie back and fantasize!! The results are great!! Sometimes I use the ribbed end of my hairbrush if I feel like I need a little more, or if I am really frustrated. Also a hand held shower head with a real fast pulsating stream works great!!

Bev

I love my orgasms and none are as intense as the ones I experience through masturbation. I have two techniques. One is in the shower, standing with legs spread, fixing the shower massage to *pulse* and letting the water hit the side of my clitoris (head on is way to sensitive). The brain is the largest sex organ. I fantasize and have incredible orgasms. The other way is on my back, on the bed, with a tiny vibrator (called a *pocketrocket*). Again, I move it up and down and in a circular motion on the SIDE of my clit. Sometimes I need to fill myself and have a dildo handy for the last second so I can contract on something, feel like I'm pulling it in. I love to cum during intercourse, but it's rarely as intense.

Find more shares in the main source of the article:

http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/mast_indx.htm

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