Fifty Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex

Fifty Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex (written by a woman, believe it or not!)

See also: Jeff Pack's blog for commentary on this material.

1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.

2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.

3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up.

4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.

5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.

6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.

7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.

8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I don't know who comes up with half that shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.

9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.

10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.

12. Not shaving your legs. I'm pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.

13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.

14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.

16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".

17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.

18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, it's his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.

19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. There's an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.

22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.

23. Undressing in the dark. If you're shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.

24. Refusing to get on top. There's no reason men should have to do all the work.

25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.

27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when he's touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.

28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. Its your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?

29. Refusing to let him take control. So you're a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.

30. Refusing to take control. It's ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.

31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.

32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.

33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.

34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.

35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.

36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.

37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.

38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3-some. It's the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).

39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.

40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. It's another when you snag the goods with a claw.

41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. That's the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and can't jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.

42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.

43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know its not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.

44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.

45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.

46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.

47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.

48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.

49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are not ok.

50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.

Reproduced from http://tweekerchick.blogspot.com/

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The Clit: A Magic Sex Pleasure Button

The clit is a magic sex pleasure button for women. The clit (clitoris) is very like the penis except much smaller. If you stroke it the right way, it'll give a woman lots of pleasure, and orgasm. The clit is the only organ on either human body that has sex pleasure as its sole function. Its about 1cm long and found just above the opening to the vagina:

Like the penis, the clit has a foreskin and a shaft. But there are many ways to stroke the clit. Each woman is different. You'll have to figure out which way is the right way for your female partner. The absolute quickest way to learn is to get her to show you how she strokes her clit and then copy what she does.Most women masturbate by stroking their clit. Basically what you want to do is copy the way she masturbates. However, she may not masturbate at all, or may not want to show you how. In this case you'll have to work it out by experimenting on her clit with different strokes.Never go straight for her clit though. Always begin with lots and lots of foreplay and teasing. Then before you go near her clit, massage the area around it. This gives the clit time to fill with blood (like the penis), making it ready to be touched directly.
Exercise 1: Work around her clit
Massage the areas around her clit: thighs, belly, hips. Gradually work your way closer. Make circles around her clit but don't touch it. Do this for at least a few minutes.
When you get to her clit, use the tip of one finger. Rub it lightly around in a circle, up and down, or left and right. It all depends on what she prefers. Everyone woman, and every clit, is different. In general though use a light touch at first.
Exercise 2: Play with her clit
Once you're sure she's ready, place the tip of your finger onto her clit. This will be easier if her legs are apart. Begin by massaging her clit lightly. Stroke it in a circle at first. Then try the other directions, up/down or left/right. Ask her which she prefers.

Again the best way to stroke her clit is basically going to be the same way she masturbates - so get her to show you how. If she offers any advice, take it. Before you go near her clit make sure your nails are cut short. Its delicate, like the penis. Long or sharp nails can cause cuts.
If you don't get feedback from her, you may be stroking her clit completely wrong (don't forget what's right for one person is probably wrong for another). If you're doing it wrong she may not tell you, and you'll never get anywhere. Ask her which way she likes her clit stroked. Once you find the right clit stroke, pleasure is more likely, as is orgasm.

taken from: http://www.infosex.com/clit.htm

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Pain while husband enters wearing condom

Q. When my husband enters his penis inside me wearing a condom I get a lot of pain around my vagina for the whole time, while without pain I don't get such pain. What is the reason?
A. Well sweetheart, the most common cause of pain inside the vagina is lack of moisture. This can occur with certain medications, with certain medical conditions, or because you are not aroused. It can occur at certain times of your life such as during or just after pregnancy, while breastfeeding, or near or after menopause.
Around menopause, estrogen levels become lower. As a result, vaginal tissue may get thinner and drier. This may cause discomfort during sex. Some menopausal women take estrogen therapy to relieve the dryness. You also can buy water-soluble lubricants that help moisten the vagina.
Vaginal dryness can occur when you are not aroused enough during sex. You should discuss with your partner what makes you feel aroused. Often it is helpful for a couple to use a cream, jelly, or vaginal suppository to provide vaginal lubrication needed for sex. However, never use any kind of oil--such as petroleum jelly or baby or mineral oil--with latex condoms. These substances can dissolve the latex and cause the condom to break. Water-based cream or jelly is safe for use with condoms.
Another cause of vaginal pain is vaginitis--an inflammation of the vagina. The most common symptoms of vaginitis are discharge, itching, and burning of the vagina and vulva. Vaginitis has many possible causes, such as yeast or bacterial infection. Vaginitis can be treated with medication that you take by mouth or place in the vagina.
Vaginismus is a spasm of the muscles at the opening of the vagina. It causes pain when your partner tries to enter the vagina. In some cases, vaginismus is present the first time a woman has--or tries to have--sex. The pain also may occur during a pelvic exam.
Vaginismus can have many medical causes. These include:
Scars in the vagina from injury, childbirth, or surgeryIrritation from douches, spermicides, or the latex in condomsInfections of the vulva or vagina
Speaking of condoms, if you feel pain or discomfort when your partner is using a condom, you may be allergic to latex, the material that makes up most male condoms. In fact, one to two percent of people are allergic to latex, and they complain of itching, rashes, swelling, tingling, nausea, and even breathing problems.Painless Solution
Switching brands of condoms may solve the problem because it's often sensitivity to the spermicide, not the latex, that's the issue. If you think this may be the case, you could also try using unlubricated condoms and adding your own water-based lubricant.
But if latex is definitely the problem, female condoms, which are made of polyurethane, are a good alternative. They're up to 95 percent effective against pregnancy. In comparison, latex condoms are up to 98 percent effective. Polyurethane male condoms are also available, but they are somewhat more likely to break than latex condoms. Remember, only male and female condoms reduce the risk of infection as well as pregnancy.
Take care sweetheart and practice safe sex. If you still feel the pain, do consult a doctor.

taken from: http://www.debonairblog.com/blog/2007/10/sex_advice_pain_while_husband_enters_wearing_condo.html

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Penis size myths and facts

Myth 1

"My penis is smaller than average."
Most men think they are smaller than average. They get this view from looking down on their flaccid penis in locker rooms, or from watching porn films where well endowed studs thrust away endlessly on the moaning female "stars" until they explode in a volcanic crescendo.
The truth is that if you look down at your genitals from the top in a locker room, or anywhere else for that matter, you are going to get a shortened view of your penis: to appreciate its true size, you need to see it sideways on in a mirror. It then suddenly looks longer! And if you watch porn films, you're not seeing average sized men - you're seeing a small number of men who have penises so large that they are in demand to appear in porn films. And, by the way, the reason they go on for so long during sex is that they are totally detached from their feelings, not seeing the women as people, but as sex objects, and they are also cut off from the process of arousal and excitement that makes sex so enjoyable for most of us. It may come as a surprise that a man can have a rock hard penis and not be aroused - but that's one of the mysteries of male sexuality.

Myth 2

"Women like a man with a big penis."
No, they don't. A few women may like being stretched to the limit, or poked in the cervix during sex, but most do not care about the size of their man's penis. The problem here is the male thinking that "bigger equals better." This logic is based on the way men get sexual pleasure: the more friction, the better the sex. Therefore, a man may think that an above-average penis is going to give a woman more sensation. It seems like a logical connection. But women are not looking for physical sensation like this during sex. They are looking for emotional connection, a feeling of being loved, a sense of being special and cherished, and closeness and intimacy with their partner.
And what's the proof of this? Look on the women's "community" message boards on the internet and in general you won't find size discussed as an issue. It's the men's advice boards and websites that focus on penis measurement and comparison! Try it yourself if you want, by searching for "what women think about the penis" in Google or Yahoo. What you'll get is a plethora of get-bigger-quick sites telling you that size really, really does matter, and a few sensible websites aimed at men telling you that your penis is good for everything no matter how big or small it may be. But you won't find female oriented websites discussing the issue very much. What does that tell you? That it's just not an issue in women's consciousness, perhaps?

Myth 3

"Where women and penises are concerned, bigger is better for sex."
Actually, it isn't. If anything, women prefer a thick penis to a long one. This research was done at an American college by asking fifty sexually active women what they preferred: and they said they preferred thickness to length. But although the results were statistically significant, they were not hugely so. It isn't a matter of great importance to women. Original reference here.
Julia Bourland is a sex columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle and author of The Go-Girl Guide: Surviving Your 20s With Savvy, Soul, and Style. Here's what she says in her advice for women:
"In candid discussions with girlfriends, we've come to the unanimous conclusion that length is a far less critical component to the size factor than width. In fact, an extra long penis is even questionably desirable since it's apt to penetrate too deeply and pain the delicate cervix. An extra short penis on the other hand is still able to reach one's vital spot (the G-spot is just an inch or so back along the front wall of the vagina.) So if you're the type to enjoy G-spot pleasure - and not all women are - then a short penis will do no wrong. Unless it's short and thin. Then it may not have enough girth to trigger your arousal.
"If you are not satisfied by your partner's size, you will want to get creative about your sex positions. A short, thin penis may feel more substantial while engaging in variations of doggy style, which allows for deeper penetration. Using different positions and alternating with a vibrator now and then may increase the pleasure for both of you since many men find that the most satisfying sex is that which arouses their partner. Two other aspects of good sex that men can control matter as well - friction and awareness. For many women the key erogenous zone, the clitoris, is rarely dependent on the penis for orgasmic release. If your mate has the right rhythm, a marathon level of endurance and a keen awareness of all of your erogenous zones, the pleasure will come - regardless of length or width."

Myth 4

"My penis says it all about my masculinity - the bigger it is, the more manly I am"
In all the years I've worked with men, I have never seen any evidence that masculinity is connected to genital size. I know that a sense of self-esteem might come through being able to walk around the locker room or the changing room with an enormous dick swinging in front of you - but that doesn't mean you're more of a man. It's a social construct that penis size equals masculinity. The truth is this: the length and width of your penis has no relationship whatsoever to those masculine values worth cultivating - the ones that make you a real man: the ability to father a child, either biologically or socially, the strength of character to be a model citizen or a good leader, the personal depth to be a creative force both personally and in the community, and a powerful and emotionally aware male in your relationships, the dedication to be a mentor to adolescent boys, and the determination to think with power and clarity and get what you want out of life. If you had to choose between a big dick and those values, what would you choose? And, out of interest, which do you think would be more likely to attract women?

Myth 5

"The bigger my penis, the better the sex."
Not at all. For one thing, some women have smaller vaginas than others, especially Asian women, and for another the intensity of your orgasm is related to how aroused you are, not your physical size. And you don't last for longer during sex if you're on the large size. Men who experience premature ejaculation come in all shapes and sizes. I know this because I have spent a long time counseling men with PE. The cure for premature ejaculation is greater self-confidence, a better relationship with your spouse or partner, eliminating fear and guilt from sexual relationships, and open and honest communication. It doesn't lie in the size of your manhood, or falling for the line peddled by the "get-bigger-quick" sites about how you'll be able to make love all night when you're two inches longer. By the way, if you want to know how to deal with premature ejaculation, go here.

Myth 6

"I can't satisfy a woman unless I have a big dick."
No woman would ever agree with that. Only a minority of women orgasm through vaginal intercourse - and if they do, it's because the penis is stimulating their G spot. (A penis in the vagina doesn't stimulate the clitoris.) And guess where the G spot is found? About two inches inside the vagina on the upper wall. Now, is your penis two inches long? Yes? It is? Oh, good! So, if you want to, you can give a woman a vaginal orgasm. Most couples never realize this, because they don't know how vaginal orgasms are produced. You can read about it here, or if you don't want to bother, you and she can be quite satisfied with clitoral orgasms: these come from stimulating her clitoris with your tongue, your fingers, a vibrator, or the tip of your penis, rubbing outside her vagina on her vulva and clitoris. Here is an email on an internet discussion board from a woman:
"My husband has an erect penis about 5 inches and it's not thick. But I can assure you, he can absolutely drive me crazy with it - and for hours! I guess desire and technique are more necessary and appreciated for a small man? As you know, the clitoral area, the labia minora, and the vulva are delectably excitable. So, the smaller organ may be better able to stimulate that area. He teases me there with just the tip of his penis. WOW! Talk about multiple orgasms! So, if you're a man who doesn't have the largest of penises, please don't feel too bad about it - you can still do it for a woman!"

taken from: http://www.penis-website.com/index.html

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